


Stupid Plans go Astray

by AssassinPyro13



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at a slow build, Close Miscarriage, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Gaster has a kotatsu and he loves it, Gaster has no idea what he's doing, Gaster has weak knees, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lich Gaster, M/M, Mpreg, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent W. D. Gaster, Rating May Change, Scientist W. D. Gaster, Smut, Tags May Change, The elevator has a vendetta against Gaster, slight gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinPyro13/pseuds/AssassinPyro13
Summary: Gaster made a plan. It was a stupid plan with little thought put into it and what started out as something that was only meant to keep him occupied over the course of a few months; became a lifelong commitment and he's not sure if he's okay with that.After slicing a whole in his hand and impregnating himself with the altered DNA; doctor Gaster thought that this would be a fun way to study his colleagues behaviors; but he failed to think about what he was going to do when the subject was actually born.
Relationships: W. D. Gaster/Grillby
Comments: 11
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

The time had been around eight thirty five at night when he finally called it quits. Arm raised and bent at the elbow to check the time, the lich allowed his hand to drop and swerve around to pat his own perky behind, still amazed at the changes to his body that the pregnancy had made. Even through the rough jeans and the crude embroidery on the buttocks of the left cheek, he could see that his body was working overtime on the pheromones to house the life he had created and injected into himself. He gave pause to the patting to allow his fingers trace the pattern for a moment before the lich allowed his hand to slide away; only to raises it and examine the hasty bandage and cotton that he stuffed in the newly made hole to create said life. It was painful; and if he had to be utterly and most honest with himself, he was still in searing agony.

Gaster hadn't lived this long only to give into the needs of pain and hunger and he wouldn't allow himself to fall pray to such trivial things now. Such things tended to pull him away from his duties; as did Asgore when the king noticed that his royal scientist hadn't left the lab for food or sleep in well over a week and would more often than not, bring him food and pester him until the lich decided enough was enough and trail home to sleep if only to escape the endless casual chat. Idle chatting wasn't one of his skills. If you asked Gaster, the best way to get to know someone and have a stimulating enough conversation was to get right into the nitty gritty and speak of darker; more personal matters such as ones stance on life and death and what one believes to happens once it all ends.

  
It was only a pity that he himself, was the only one who felt that way and that others of his species, would rather start off conversation light for months on end before they even began to gently touch on such topics. Pity. It was only a means to sadden him.  
Where was he again? Gaster found himself blinking; staring deeply onto the old office clock with the broken face that hung on the wall; ticking. That branch of thoughts had cost him fifteen minutes, or maybe it was his bodys exhaustion had cost him those precious few moments. Either way, his job was done and the results were documented. Why had he done this to himself again? Pasty dead white hands with blackened nails pulled the lab coat off their master and folded it over his arm as he made his way to the door, taking care to hide his self inflicted wound under the coat he carried.

Why, indeed. Suppose the answer was why not? He had done more than his fair share of work this year. Pregnancy would give him something to do and to think about while he waited out the remaining months to find out of his experiment had been a success. Of course, he hadn't thought out what he was going to do when the subject was born or how exactly he was going to extract it. That was never planned, unlike the reactions and treatments over his coworkers that he planned on recording on paper on all that he had observed.

  
The joy of this whole thing always had to be unknown for him to get his pleasure from it.

  
The liches shoes squeaked down the hallway as he walked under the dim light of the empty lab. One of the plus sides of working late and being the boss. You could leave at any time you wanted to. Gaster just liked leaving late; much later than the others. There was always a calming sense to traversing an empty corridor that he found to his liking. The dull lights, the silence as a cool breeze from the air conditioner keeping the lab nice and cold. It felt like an 80's anime that he had found in the dump years ago and decided to watch out of boredom and spite of his coworkers who had made the claims that he would have found it dull. Not much had been watchable and the words printed on the sticker of the VHS was all washed off and smudged from the dumps flooded cavern. However, while he couldn't grasp a word of what was being said or done, he found he rather enjoyed the dark atmosphere and the crude artwork of the background. It was very much like this very lab at the late night.

  
Gaster gave pause under the dim light of the final hallway he needed to take before leaving; hand raised to push the elevator button to go down into Hotland for his long trek home. His dull and remaining eye peeked up to spot the flickering ceiling light as it fought for its right to stay lit as a moth spun around; smacking its disgusting body to the covered bulb.

  
Asgores beard, Gaster hated insects. They disgusted him to no end and tended to make him lose his appetite of one so much landed on his food or, stars forbid, die in front of him; which he learned early in life, would make him vomit like no other and he wouldn't be eating the rest of the day. He could go the rest of his life without needed to see another disgusting creature such as that moth. Lucky for him and his stomach, it was far away from him, hitting that incessant light that he swore he ordered to be fixed and the bulb changed about a week ago.

Or did he miss remember that? The lich could have sworn he told someone to fix that but it likely could have been in his head and he had simply been to busy to speak it out loud. Either way, he would make a mental note of it to have it dealt with when he returned tomorrow even if he had to fix it himself.

  
Exasperated. He pushed the button; pleased when the green light brightened up the two buttons of choice. There had been more buttons at one point but he made sure to only include those once one was in the elevator, otherwise, what was the purpose of pushing them twice? He felt a frown form on his face. Then again, what was the purpose of having an up and down button if you had to push it inside the elevator, too? He would have to fix that tomorrow too. This will not stand; without a doubt this will be bothering him all night, no matter how small it was. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulled out a notepad no bigger than his hand and a pencil before flipping it open and writing down the demands to have a single button on the outside of the elevator instead of two pointless ones that will only be pushed again once the rider was inside.

  
The doctor liked to write in his notepad his plans. It kept his ideas and wants all nice and neat and allowed his brain to rest its worry so he could get a decent sleep tonight.... tonight.... what was he going to do for dinner tonight? Hmmm.... The rubber of his pencil tapped his chin in thought thanks to his anxious fingers before he bit into the rubber with his shark like teeth. Noodles was a no go. It was all he ate this week and considering he carried a life in him, the doctor supposed that he might as well make an effort to keep the subject alive. How else was he going to record his coworkers reactions in his neat file cabinet to look back on later in life for amusement and entertainment? Stars, what was one to eat when one bore life? No doubt that there were different diets, depending on the stage one was in. Flicking his notepad closed and sticking the pencil in the rims, he stuffed the paper and wood in his pocket once more.

There was only one answer to this problem. He would need to stop by the library before work because there was no way in Hotlands flowing thermal power plant was he going to quit work early for a simple book. The internet was a possibility but Gaster did not posses a computer at home. If he used one of the lab computers then one of the apprentices or his colleagues would find out too early. The doctor wanted them to find out on his terms and his terms only; which was when he was sure his body wasn't going to reject and abort the subject inside his middle.

  
…..This elevator was taking a while; he noticed.

  
Could it be broken? His cold eyes scanned the button. No, t'was green. Had anything been wrong, the light on the button would switch to red; a safety measure they implemented when one of the resident scientists got stuck in it between floors. It might help to improve that safety measure just in case the king or queen decided to make their appearance but then again, since when have they ever used the elevator? Asgore and Toriel were an energetic couple and tended to use the stairs more often than not; considering it their preferred way of moving through floors. And with how long this elevator was taking, the doctor was considering risking his knees giving out mid step to use them. While he loved it here at the lab and would stay for days on end here; he still had a home that he would occasionally like to go home to.

  
Oh right, he hadn't decided on a meal yet. Mayhaps he could stop at Grillbys for his usual lunch meal. The elemental didn't normally close his bar until late in the morning; around three am on a good day, twelve on a bad. Gaster lifted his arm to glance at his watch once more. Eight fifty. The elevator was taking too long.... Arm down, he caught sight of the red light blaring at him. Great. It must have gotten stuck again. Luckily he hadn't been on it or the doctor might have been sleeping in it all night. Stairs it was. Turning on his heels, his shoes squeaked on the polished floors; once more passing the way he came, going into the opposite direction with a purpose. The large windows overseeing the thermal reactor and Hotlands lava dwarfed him with their size beside him, making the doctor momentarily feel like he was in a space shuttle, looking out over a searing hot planet. It was a sight he more than often found himself standing in front of, just staring; wondering the days of how his dreams of going to space were shattered when the monsters got sealed underground when he was just a boy.

  
Three hundred thousand years was but a blink to the lich. He blinked; no wait, that was too long. He was mistaking it for another time period. No, four hundred years was nothing to a lich; yes, that was right. The day he was made was the day that humans and monsters first went to war that lasted generations and he was made for the sole purpose of being trained and to aid the humans to victory. Then, as he got older, he found himself enamored by the most feared general of the monster army.  
Grillby had looked so beautiful in that golden armor of his. It was a shame that the fight and passing of time ruined the elementals sight to the point of the open flame monster had to wear glasses. The once youthful jack-o-lanturn smile of his friend had faded too.

Not that he could ever tell his old friend about his affections and feelings, nor would he openly admit that he missed it when the now bartender would smile and actually speak instead of crackle in the elemental way of communication that very few understood. He would carried those thoughts and feelings with him until the day that he died. There was no way that Gaster was going to risk what he had with Grillby all for the sake of some fantasy that might not come true. His heart couldn't take it. His soul could but not his heart, which was somehow worse in a way he could not understand.

  
Finally reaching the blue door with the sign on it that read “Stairs” in big bold letters, he pushed it open; only just having done so when he heard the elevator ding on the other end of the building. Cheeky thing was playing with him, he had no doubt. Feigning being broken only to work once Gaster had reached the stairs; no, he was not falling for that obvious rouse. He was at the stairs and he was taking the stairs; to dinner, if the elevator insisted on playing coy with him. He was not alert or attentive enough for this love hate relationship with the piece of technology tonight.

He had to reach Grillbys before he closed and he had a long walk to do. If he wasn't expecting, he would teleport but the life was a risk. With how early he was in it, any teleporting through the void could risk killing it, and then where would he be? He would have to ruin his other hand just to remedy his problem and create a new one.  
And he only had two hands to work with. Pity.

  
The stairs were not kind to him. He already had weak knees to start with that tended to give out from under him at least twice a year, from how often he kept track of it. It took all he had to keep a tight hold of the rail painfully with his bandaged free hand; needing to hold his coat in his teeth to keep from screaming. It might be wise to take some pain killers when he got home and to see a medical doctor sometime this week if only to give him something stronger than headache tablets. Eyes; one working and one unseeing, kept their sight on his polished black shoes with each step he took down the flight of stairs; knees aching from his weight; which, in a way, felt rude for his own body to act that way to him. He was of decent weight and build and wasn't overweight by any means yet.

  
But he would bear it. He would always bear it, from now until the end of his time. It was a relief to finally get out and lock up the lab. It was an even bigger relief to make his way down the path; not stopping for anything as he stepped through waterfall. Alright, he lied. The doctor did take a few moments to stand in the wet grass, hands holding the coat between them to glance up at the twinkling crystals on the ceiling; ignoring the throbbing in his hand. If Gaster squinted, he just might make himself think he was glancing at the night sky and the stars once more.

Faint smile spreading softly on his face; the lich closed his eyes; taking just a few minutes to pretend he was back on the surface; feeling the wind blowing over him and hearing the trees rustle. In his mind, he could go anywhere, see anything that he normally would have to see either on the tv from movies that made their way into the underground or books that have been salvaged from the dump.

  
Japan was one of those places he liked to imagine being at. Not in the big cities, but the farmland. The beautiful field he would see in his books; the landscape and old housing he saw on recorded documentaries. There were many times he wished he could go there and just, exist; watch as the people wondered past him... England was another place he would have loved to see and experience.... So many places he wanted to go to. Taking a deep breath, his smile faded away along with his day dreams and the lich opened his eyes once more. None of that would happen though.

That's all they were, dreams. He would never be able to see other countries and try their foods and culture. He would never be able to study their plants and see their sights. Stars, he wouldn't even be able to see real stars again. All he; or rather, anyone, had was the crystals of waterfall to get them by... Even the diamonds on the cave walls and ceilings were dull and boring after a while of their imprisonment. Taking a breath, the doctor continued on his walk. The years only got worse with monsterkind.

  
There were very, VERY few who were still alive since the days of the war between species. Not many monsters lived that long of lifespan. A huge chunk lived about as long as humans, if not a few decades older. King Asgore and Queen Toriel were centuries old due to their status as bosses. But even they will eventually grow old and die. Boss monsters were still mortal just like the rest of them; they just took longer to age.... Grillby was already starting to show his age; despite still being young for a fire elemental. Had he been human, the bartender would be in his mid thirties by now in monster standards. As for Gaster, well.... he wasn't a spring chicken. Of course, he was close to Grillby in age, if not a couple decades younger. In the middle of being young yet close to growing old. It was still a confusing time for what to call this age that he was in.

  
The snow crunching under his feet was the first sign of him finally reaching Snowdin; the fog in his face was a direct follow up. Stars, he hated fog. One couldn't see and if he was unlucky and misstep, he would land right into the water for the Riverman to later fish out.

  
The first time that had happened was bad enough. The Riverman had “tralala'd” him nonstop for weeks; rubbing it in the liches face by telling him in a roundabout way to watch his step lest the fish find him.... fish being the Riverman and the song and dance would continue until one of them would eventually get annoyed and stop showing up, whether the lich being fished out or finding a new path home. He could only take so much humiliation before he wanted to gouge himself in the leg with a scalpel.

  
Luckily for Gaster, the fog hadn't lasted and he was able to reach the small town and his destination; the bar. Which he found out was closed as he was stepping right to the door. Growling, he took a gander at his wrist watch for the third or fourth time that day.

  
“2:45 am” it read. Gaster was floored. How had it taken him so long to arrive here?! Perhaps he spent longer time than he meant to whilst imagining being on the surface? It was likely. The doctor did tend to get lost in his own mind and this just proved it. It hadn't helped that he had been light headed and mentally flighty all day. Must have been the blood loss. He did lose a lot of it when he was carving out the hole in his hand before he managed to bandage himself up and clean his station before anyone had intruded upon him.

The lich let his arm drop back to his side; grateful that the cold was numbing the wound in his hand. There was hardly any fault for Grillby. It was late and even if the elemental lived just above the bar in the same building; it was the only restaurant in Snowdin and tended to get crowded by citizens and guards alike. The fire needed his rest and Gaster would allow him that rest for all the work he has done.

  
But that, unfortunately means, that he had to cook for himself tonight. Snow crunching under his feet with each step, it only took about a minute to reach home to his two story house. Reaching into his pocket, his hand brushed the notepad and pencil he had stored in there earlier and slid out his house key and inserting it into the lock before twisting and entering the warm and cozy place he called home.

  
It felt bigger and bigger each time he returned to it. Not even furniture and his endless piles of books, papers and ramen bowls that he defiantly meant to clean up for a while now, seemed to lesson the empty feeling. In fact, it just made the place feel lonely and desperate. While he was organized at the lab and prepared for whatever came his way, the house did nor resemble it. If you ever looked at those old movies whenever a researcher was presented with a ton of comically piled books and papers, that would be his home. Door locked behind him and coat hung on the coat hanger, the lich dropped the keys on the cluttered table before reaching back and pulling off his gray turtleneck with a hiss as pain shot through his arm from the blasted hole; causing him to drop his woolen knitted shirt onto the floor and grasp his wrist as it shook with each spasm.

  
Seriously, why had he chosen to do this? What in Asgores name, compelled him to cut out a part of him and create a life that now sat in his hallow middle to grow?

  
Besides for shits and giggles, he couldn't remember. But what was done, was done and he needed to get ready for bed; not to mention that he still needed to sort out what he was going to consume for dinner. Bending down and grasping the sweater he had dropped, his arm tossed it to the side so that it landed on the back of the green couch to sit upon a slowly growing pile of clothes that he just left there to get filthy of air dust. Good hand working on undoing his pants as he strolled to the kitchen, they fell to his knees and with a swift kick, they slid to the table and chairs nearby next to the full laundry basket; as he quietly searched through his cabinets for something quick and easy to make in his boxers that looked like the 70's just threw up on them.

  
So, the good news was that he had a well stocked kitchen. The bad news was that most of it was condiments, boxed pastas and potatoes along with bags of rice and canned veggies. Sneer on his face, Gaster settled on grabbing the canned green beans. Standing up and pulling out the can opener from the drawer from the left side of him, the lich made short work of opening it and pouring the beans into a bowl before stuffing it in the microwave for about thirty seconds to a minute. Doctor Gaster was tired, he had a long day at work, and he was sore. He wasn't going to let anyone tell him the standards he was living in was bad. They were bad but he practically spent all his life at the lab. The only possible reason for him to even need to clean up more than he did now besides disgusting bugs was if he had-

  
His hand stopped from where he had been pulling out a fork out of the silverware drawer. Oh.... he would have another life living with him soon, wouldn't he....?

Eyes scanning his surroundings, he closed the drawer and grabbed the beans from the microwave once it went off. He had time. Twelve months, to be exact. That was plenty of time to get his home cleaned and sorted. But for right now and for the foreseeable future until he was ready, he would leave his home as it was. Curling on the couch; he brushed his good hand to knock the clothes off the back of the couch and pull his blanket that he had drapped over it under the pile, over himself. Ahhh... Warm. Grabbing the remote from the nearby coffee table, he flicked on the tv and began to eat.  
Only to get sick in the bathroom five minute later.


	2. Chapter 2

By Asgores beard, when had he fallen asleep? Blinking awake through bleary eyes; his hand slid up from where it rested upon his navel-only goal to wipe away the crusts from his tired sockets. After rubbing his eyes clean and his hand once more returning to its position on his belly, the doctor made an attempt to move, only to groan out painfully as his bones popped and his body protested in waves of pain and nausea. This couch was no good; he knew it was no good. It was old, broken and oddly lumpy to the point that it would make even a modsmal jiggle in agony. Dings very well knew that he shouldn't be sleeping on this if he wanted a restful night but the darkness of his unconsciousness had claimed him sometime during the night; but what could one expect when you pull a couch out of the garbage dump underground?

Regardless, he had to get up and go to the facilities less he wanted to vomit his sick here and there. With nothing but the television droning on since he woke up and the haunting buzz of his ceiling light; the lich pushed through his bodys aching to gather to his feet; plush carpet; although a little crusty, under them, he padded his way to the stairs- the cold wood making him regret not having them carpeted as well with each step he took. Curse his stubbornness about having the only bathroom upstairs. In hindsight, it made sense at the time it was being built-

  
Gaster had to pause half way to breath past the growing acidity and saliva building into his mouth hand cupping it while the other grabbed a hold of his middle. No, he could not stop here. The vomit was coming and there was no way of stopping it. Continuing on at a much more hurried pace, the doctor had just managed to get to the porcelain throne and bents over it when the sickness made itself known; refusing to be contained along with the bitter acid build up. Retching, his injured hand throbbed and pounded as he gripped the sides of the toilet with both hands clutching the bowl. This had not been expected. Out of all his calculation and expectations, he had long forgotten about morning sickness; that normally would have been a very obvious trait associated with pregnancy- and one that was more than often thought of first when you thought of the condition that he had given himself.

  
Groaning, his body shuddered as another bout wracked through him; having given him just enough time to breathe before the next wave hit. There went those powdered donuts he had eaten yesterday.... Wait, had he eaten yesterday beside when he got home? Mayhaps he was thinking of another day. Stars, now his body was shaking; joining the chill that had taken hold of his body during the process of expulsion. The doctor should count himself lucky that the second wave wasn't nearly as long nor as harsh on his body as the first. Eyes closed, two to three more bouts of dry heaving followed the second wave before Gaster was able to spit into the toilet and closing the lid; reaching for the handle 

  
“Don't look at it, Don't look at it.” He chanted under his breath over and over as he pushed; only opening his eyes when the sound of flushing reached his hearing. Stars, smelling and experiencing the whole thing was bad enough. Had he actually looked, he would have been repeating the disgusting action once more, something he didn't relish in doing anymore, especially today. Groaning weakly, the lich placed his forehead to the toilets lid; riding the waves of pain and cold shivers that had taken over his nerves; which was putting it mildly.

The doctor was practically seeing red from the pain in his hand alone and if he lacked the will to remain conscious, he would have fallen back under that blackness that threatened to take over his senses. This may take him a while to ride out; laying halfway on the toilet with his arms limp and drooped beside him; hands twitching on the floor. While this position lacked any form of comfort, it was better than the couch when it came to practicality at this point. The coldness of the porcelain and room felt wonderful on his sweaty body.

  
He was half tempted to strip nude with how wonderful he was feeling right now. So light and cool. Now if only he could block out that infernal pounding.

  
Pounding... That was the door wasn't it? Ah, Gaster couldn't be bothered. The doctor was comfortable where he was; even if it would cause problems for his weakened knees and back later. Closing his eyes, he took in the silence that soon followed the pounding. Ahh, the sound had stopped. Maybe he could get some rest now.... What time was it, anyway? Surely it wasn't morning, was it?

  
“Gaster?” Below, he could faintly hear Grillby calling out to him; the elemental having, without a doubt, used the spare key that the doctor had given him years ago. There had been many times where his old friend had threatened to use it the next time Gaster had vanished without a trace. It had been all in jest but it looks as if the barkeep finally did good on his promise. Why, though? It wasn't as if the doctor had been gone for long. “Dings?” As, there's the squeak of a step on his blasted wooden stairs. There would be no sleep for him if his friendly intruder kept up this racket. It would appear that he was to have a visitor today. “Dings, answer me, this isn't fun-Gatser?!”

Groaning, Gaster brought his good hand to his head; covering his closed eyes to block the light; Grillby's voice electing pain to sear through his noggin. “Too loud....” He found himself mumbling under his breath; throat raspy and croaky from the sick spell he suffered; feeling the warm hands of Grillby's flame as the elemental sat himself on the cold floor and pulling the doctor in his arms; knuckles to the lich's forehead, feeling for a temperature.

  
Had he been fully awake, the doctor would have found that rather humerus.

  
However the doctor wasn't in the mood for jokes. He was already in a lot of pain and exhausted beyond belief; only now as Grillby took his bandaged hand in his own and gasping in alarm before picking the lich up bridal style did he really feel the agony absolutely rip into his body; electing only the smallest pained gasp escaping the doctor as he was carried down the stairs in a haste that his mind could not keep up with. Opening his eyes to witness what his friend was doing had been a very misguided mistake and he shut them instantly once another wave of nausea filled him. The movements were blurry and dizzy; far too much for his own mind to make out and it wasn't long until he found himself bundled in what felt like all five of the heavy blankets he had owned and carried out the door.

  
Ah, his friend deemed his agony and discomfort a cause for a stroll. The doctor wished that Grillby would have waited for Dings to feel better before deciding they were going for a long walk in his knickers and blankets. The carrying was new. This was not how one had a stroll with friends.... And who was managing the bar? The lab? Humming, he allowed his head to rest against the crook of Grillbys shoulder; clenched eyes easing up somewhat. For some unfathomable reason, the doctor couldn't muster the energy to care about the lab. Of course, he had a lot of work to do, but he just, didn't have the energy. All he wanted to do was sleep... Yes, sleep sounded marvelous right about now. It was rather warm... Yes....

  
The supposed that a small nap wouldn't hurt in the slightest.

  
And so that is what he did, he slept. For how long, he hadn't known. The veil of darkness had taken his mind shortly after giving into it and after that, nothing. Nothing but fog.

  
Fog and dreams that he swore felt real; far too real compared to any other dream that he bore witness to in his entire life. Gaster could make out cold hands all over his being; followed by the sound of beeping. Dreams or not, the doctor wasn't too fond of being touched by unknown appendages; and more came from nowhere to pin his strangely weakened arms down when he made any protest; along with any attempts made to push the hands off his being. All the while, that blasted beeping sound that shook and followed the rhythm of his soulbeat; was oddly ominous. Gaster did not like any of these dreams and had no wish to entertain them any longer.

  
So he allowed himself to go limp and sink further back into that black fog of sleep and soon enough, they were gone; later to be followed by a wet rag running down his bare body like a rough tongue; however colder. This one, Dings was convinced was a dream. He was still dressed in his knickers, he was sure. There was no way that a rag could reach his waist straight on if he was still in his undergarments. That was, by all means, how his logic was and he was sticking to it. However, the scrubbing had felt nice and relaxing, which, instead of allowing himself to sink back into the depths of the darkness, it forced him dark fog.

It was rather annoying; or it would have been if he could only wake up. Was the stroll over? The doctor hoped so very much it was. He wanted to go back to his comfy bed and sleep...

  
...Wasn't he sleeping now? Brows furrowing; his might fought the fog that was attempting to keep him prisoner in his own mind; only to be met with bright lights; aching body, pounding, and that stars awful beeping; once he opened his eyes-only to be met with....

A hospital room? Was he in the capital? How in the stars did he get here and why? Blinking; eyes dry despite all the sleeping he had done since waking up on the couch; he reached up with his bad hand, having felt something in bedded within it; only to be met with Tight bandages wrapping his whole hand with a needle and a tube sticking inside, tapped to the mesh like an insect in a spiders web..... That description alone made him feel rather ill. Lowering his arm once again, Gaster noted that it didn't ache as badly as it had been; one relief to add to his list of confusion.

Glancing around the room he found himself in, it was an endless tone of white. Other than the floor and ceiling, which were a soft shade of teal blue, everything was either white or gray; very poor colors to his eyes and the doctor found his mood souring. The windows, larges and open for him to peek out into the warm climate of lower hotland; gave him a pleasant sight of the city and the inhabitants, however.

  
It wasn't until he heard the door to his right slowly creak open did he turn his attention to his possible escape; giving a momentary sigh of relief when he spotted Grillby; wearing only a plain t-shirt and tight dress pants, enter the room. Seeing Dings awake and staring at him, the elementals flames shot up in surprise and he hurried to gently close the door behind him and rush to the side of the bed, leaning over the lich to catch an easier glimpse since the flame appeared to have been missing his glasses.

“You're awake, than the angel...” Grillby gave a crackle in relief; reaching back to pull over a chair that had been sitting nearby; no doubt having sat there for who knows how long for the doctor to wake up. “I had worried that you would have been asleep for..... That you....” Hand touching the flames of his own head, the barkeep appeared to be at a loss for words for the time being. Luckily, at this point, Gaster had a lot of words to utter; face contorting his earlier confusion.

  
“Grillby, as astounding as it is to see you-what in the underground, am I doing in the hospital? I cannot afford to be here; I have work to do-”

  
“I'm going to have to stop you there, Dings...” rubbing the side of his own face with the palm of his hand, the elemental barkeep gave a faint sight; hand sliding down his neck and laying on the side of the bed that the lich rested in; much to the mild annoyance of the doctor that lay there. “Dings; you don't even realize how close you came to dusting right now, do you?” Ah, there was that stern look that Grillby was known for. Centuries sense the war and the old veteran still had that look that silenced arguments from his time as a general. Blunt and straight to the point as always. “You had a nasty infection in your hand that was seeping through the bandages that, I know for a fact, you did yourself. You weren't a good healer then, and you aren't now.” Slouching, Grillby goes limp, leaving Dings to absorb all that he was told.

  
Infection??? He was sure he had taken the proper measures to insure that this didn't happen. Scowling, he tapped a finger of his good hand onto the bed; mind going through the events of that day. But Grillby did not care about his train of thought as he continued hand clinching into a fist on the bed.

  
“To make matters worse, you're pregnant....” The elementals fist was shaking on the bed. “I-” taking a deep breath, the barkeep continued, unable to make eye contact. “I cannot fault you for that one. You're only a day along and there's no way you could have known-” Oh if only Grillby knew that Dings very much knew. “-But you have to be careful! And that hole-that was deliberate, wasn't it? You purposefully mutilated yourself and refused to seek medical treatment; just like you did back during the-” Once again, Grillby had to stop himself; standing now while hovering over the stiffened doctor; eyes locked to each other. “You have a new life inside you now, you can't be making risks like that!”

  
Good hand balled in a fist of its own as he clutched the sheets; it shook. Whether from anger or fear, he hadn't known. Grillby frightened him when he got in his face like that, which is something he should have expected from the veteran; something he was all too familiar with. Both were hardened from the war, which was something only they could understand. Grillby wasn't trying to scare him, only to talk since into the lich; this he knew, but that did not make it any less fearful. The elemental commanded power, much like he had done so long ago, and to any other monster who hadn't known their backstory, would have thought that the elemental was shouting at a random patient like some kind of loon.

  
That didn't mean that part of him didn't want a nurse to come in and scold his friend just to knock the barkeep down a peg; but that defeated the purpose of not wanting his crush and longtime friend to be in trouble. Watching his comrade sink into his chair with his face in his hands as he leaned on the bed with his elbows; Dings fought back the urge to pat the others head with his bandaged hand. What was he to do? Apologize? Maybe, if only to ease his only friend some of the plight he carried.

“I am sorry, Firefly.” The doctor croaked, wincing at the indignity of what he must sound like. “It hadn't been my intention to get sick.” With eyelids drooping from exhaustion, he watched as Grillby gave one final exaggerated sigh before sitting back up.  
“You have been missing for two days and had half the underground looking for you. I don't think a simple sorry can fix this one. And to top it all of, you were massively malnourished.” Small puffs of black smoke escaped the elementals jack-o-lantern mouth. “But, I will accept it.. It's not me you will have to answer to, but your lover. Does he know about the baby?... Or she?”

Gasters eyes lingered to the side to hide the knowing gleam in them. “I can't say he would be too surprised.” He admitted. No, a nonexistent person could not be surprised at all.”

“You don't seemed all that shocked either....”

“Only because I am massively exhausted, Firefly...” giving a huff, he grouched and slid back into the covers; electing a soft chuckle from his firey friend. “And besides, he would not care, considering the other parent isn't in the picture.”   
Haha, what other parent? The specimen only had one true parent; Dings.

  
Grillby's flames shot up in alarm, expression showing his look of distaste over that detail. “So he left you? In this condition, he just walked out? Even if it's a one night stand, typically you'd both make sure no happy accidents happened..... Although, with all that we're slowly learning about what you have been doing the past couple of days, I can't say I'm shocked...”

“You flatter me, Firefly. Thinking I'm so sneaky.”

“Hah... Sneaky or not, The king is coming by later. Lets see how sneaky you are then.”

Damn....


	3. Chapter 3

Seven days without sleep and it took an infected hand and an overnight stay in a hospital for him to break the cycle. Gaster had long thought that Grillby had been jesting when he said that Asgore would be making an appearance later that day. Unfortunately, the doctors longtime crush had been annoyingly truthful and now the lich found himself slinking down in bed once the king had stepped in-not needing to say a word for Gaster to pick up his intention. As the large goat monster stood beside his bed, silent look of disappointment and disapproval on his face as the royal scientist before him gave a wince at the mere sight of the look his superior had.

“I understand-you don't need to tell me, your highness.”

“Oh?” A golden furred brow rose sarcastically on the kings weary face. “Do you now? Well, seeing as you seem to understand the gravity of what you have done and what might have happened, it would appear that I have wasted my time by coming to see how you were doing. My mistake.” Those words hadn't meant to be comforting and the king made sure of that. The scathing words has the doctor grimacing for the first time since he had awoken in the hospital; IV's still embedded within his flesh as a constant reminder to the infection that had nearly ended his life had Grillby not come to check on him.

He had hoped that Asgore wasn't going to comment more, but as it would happen, luck was not his side and Asgore hadn't looked like he was going to let this go simply because the lich he had employed, winced at his tone; thus the king continued, stiffening his shoulders and head high in a form of finalization. “As it would stand, I have been informed of your condition and of the child you bare, Doctor Gaster. I hadn't pegged you for one to risk your own health or the life of an innocent simply because you feared getting help.”

“You're highness,” Trying to reason, Gaster pushed himself a tad up to get comfortable enough to settle on the lie he had been forced to repeat since he woke up. Asgore hadn't been the only one to show up and he doubted the queen wasn't too far behind. “I hadn't even known about the soul-”  
  
“Save your breath, Doctor Gaster; nothing you do is by accident or coincidence.” Once more, Gaster found himself wincing at the authority held within the leader of monsters voice- the fire and ferocity in the kings eyes. “And do not take me for a fool, Gaster. I have known you far longer than most and I can tell when you are attempting to pull the wool over my eyes. You have nearly done something so idiotic and foolish that I nearly couldn't believe what I was hearing when the news reached me. I am very disappointed in you and this upsets me greatly.” With a sigh; Asgore deflated a little and placed a large hand over his own eyes before taking the seat beside the bed that Grillby had once been in before he had to return to his bar for the day. “You are my friend, Doctor. The last thing I want to ever find out about you is that you had died; especially over a treatable sickness.”

Twitching where he lay, the doctor found his eyes wondering to examine the window to the people outside the city. A bed by the window made people watching much easier and a better distraction when being faced with reality and stress. “It honestly wouldn't have been the first time that's happened-”

“-Gaster.” The lich hadn't needed to look over at Asgore to see that the king was upset with his choice of words. Instead, he glanced to his hands in his lap and picked at his blackened nails.

“What? I had died before. How exactly do you think liches are made in the first place?”

It was almost satisfying to know that his question had thrown the king off his high horse, even a little. Peeking over, he smiled at the sour yet focused look the king held as he appeared to be thinking. It felt as if Asgore had been pondering his response for minutes before the boss monsters finally admitted: “It hasn't really come up for me to actually find out.”

Grinning, Gaster pushed his reading spectacles up his face to rest on the top of his head; his book closed in his lap. “Liches were once humans, your Majesty.” He tried not to take pleasure in the puzzled yet hardened look on the kings face as he listened to the doctors words. “Dead humans- to be more exact. Soldiers or mages who had fallen in battle, only to be brought back with a form of necromancy type magic. Typically we are servants or slaves; mindless and feeble. But It would appear that in my first life, I hadn't been such a pushover- not that I can remember it anyway.”

To his credit, the only sign that anything registered to the king on all that had been said was the green hue poking on his face. The thought of messing around with the dead was an oddly sickening practice to both human and monster alike and to hear it being used in battle was unnerving. Bringing a large hand to stroke his beard; Asgore hummed in thought before speaking.

“Netherless, we have gotten off track. All that aside, we need to consider what is going to happen when you go into labor.” Large green eyes scanning Gasters body, even under the covers. “Had you been a skeleton, there would have been no problem. It's no mystery how you got them in there, but getting them out would be a whole other story.”

Ah, of course Asgore would piece the hole in his hand and link it to the baby he carried. Soft hearted as he was, Asgore was no fool. Instead of using ones soul for sex to create a baby like most, if not all, non-skeletal same sex monster couples did, he had made the little one himself. So much for part of his fun during this experiment. Snorting, Gaster gave a wave of his hand dismissively.

“Calm, your highness. There's still not a problem. Because of the alterations my master did to my body before raising me from the dead, I can give birth to the sp-child.” Stars above, he almost called the child “specimen” right in front of Asgore. That would not have gone down well. “I have both, a slit and a hole; the little one would not be trapped and surgery would not be needed.”

“I fear that I do not understand what you mean, my friend.” Brows furrowed, the king frowned. Groaning, Gaster found one of his hands rubbing the side of his face. Someone end him now, this is embarrassing!

“A lich doesn't defecate, your highness.” Patiently explaining this to the king, while informative, had him flushing purple. “Whenever we have to expel mana buildup or waste of any kind, out body melts the solids into a liquid and we urinate or sweat it out; depending on the circumstances and our environments.” And considering the poor shamed doctor, he lived in a cold environment so urinating was more frequent than one thought. Not that it happened more than any other monster but it did happen. “The hole, is what the baby will come out of. I will tear if not cut but that is a risk I had thought about when I started this-and before you say anything, no I was not planning on giving birth in private. I am no so foolish to risk that.” Hurrying to end with that last statement when he sees the king about to protest in outrage.

“Oh, I see. Well that solves one problem.” Pulling out a handkerchief from his robes and wiping his brow, Asgore settles back into the chair. “Then what is the slit for?”  
  
Sputtering, the doctor wanted nothing more than to have the bed consume him where he lay. “Why, t-that is where my penis slides out from, your highness.” If only he had a mirror. He must be completely purple from embarrassment from this. Why, out of everything he could have asked, did the king as THAT?! Lucky for him, Asgore seemed to have understood that he had overstepped a boundary despite the question having been answered; and he too flushed with shame; clearing his throat and sputtering; all the while looking horrified.

“My apologies. Had I thought of my question before speaking-”

Deciding to stop this before it got even worse, the lich easily silenced the kings babbling with a nervously shaky raised hand; up and begging for peace. “You had a bad scare and it might have been a long day for all of us, your highness. I am more than willing to move to another topic, if you please!”

This, looking as if it relieved the king as he nodded rapidly; he gave a nervous laugh. “Yes! Another subject... Kind of, I do have a question that I am unsure of the answer to, if you would indulge me with one more embarrassment.”

Eh, why not? Tis not like Gaster had anything better to do other than be yelled at by everyone outside this room who came to meet with him. If anything, the good doctor would love nothing more than to bullshit and stall his way out of this until they all got bored and left like they always did. His personal bullshittery record was eight hours and that had been for a particular stubborn coworker. Nodding to the king, he reached up with his good hand to pluck the glasses off his head to set them in his lap to rest on the book: “The wind in the Willows” its title read.

“Why would your master alter your body to have a hole? If you were just meant to be a fighter? I can't imagine he or she would have expected you to survive. And even then, had you stayed with them, I could not imagine what other use you would have had for them.”

Hand to his chin, he rubbed it with his fingers as he pondered over Asgores inquiry. “I only have a few speculations and theories, your majesty, but no real actual answer to give you.” He admitted; eyes hardening to the book in his lap.

“Oh?” The confusion and interest in the kings voice prompted him to speak his thoughts, allowing his hand to drop back into his lap; once more picking at his nails.

“Had I not defected to the monster side; I could have been of use in many ways to the humans; none of which would have been pleasant for me.” Bringing his hand back up, the lich rubbed as his slowly aching temples; feeling a headache coming on. “Lets see..... I was thought to be a mindless abomination so I could have been used for manual labor- mayhaps a pet? They could have used me as a sexual slave and would sell me to anyone needing a moving body; that could be one reason for the hole... I could have also been used to breed more liches; natural ones, but that one is very far fetched considering that I don't know if I could even bare or sire a child naturally. I suppose we will have to see if this little one survives to find out.” Then, with a dry and bitter laugh, the doctor covered his left eye. “My old body might have been missing parts and so I might not even be completely me. But considering I lack stitching, that one is less likely than the others. It's a wonderful thing that I will never have to find out what master had planned for me after the war.”

Glancing back to Asgore; the kings face was unreadable and steely, much like it had been during that time on the surface. The king often gets looks like this when he was either remembering the war time or thinking about anything that seemed less desirable to his mind and morals. Eventually, with a softened look, the large boss monster turned to him and his eyes crinkled with a smile softly.

“Yes,” He agreed, standing once more. “Tis a good thing. This had been a rather educational talk, Doctor Gaster. We should do it more often at the palace, maybe with tea. Tori would no doubt love to keep track of the progress of your souling.”

Gaster could only groan and lull his head to the side; begging. “Pleeeeeeaaase do not tell her! I wouldn't hear the end of it.”

Asgore gave a chuckle. “Well you're certainly not hearing the end of it either way as from now on, you are reporting to me every day after work to have dinner with us.”

Gaping, Gaster could only gasp. “No....!” Oh no, he knew where this was going. And there was no way that the king was going to let this go.

“Yes. And one of our nice royal guards would be walking you home afterwards. I heard of your incident with the River and how our friend the Riverman had to fish you out. We don't want you getting sick, now do we?”

The lich clutched his head. This can't be happening...! “No, no no!”

“OOH! And one final thing!! That nice friend of yours, the one who owns the bar in the town you live in. He's volunteered to check up on you and keep you company from time to time. Isn't that nice?” Large fluffy hands clasped together; Asgore beamed with pride and joy. “It's so wonderful to hear that you are making friends, Doctor. I was worried that we would have to move you into the palace so that you wouldn't have to travel so far, not with a baby on the way. Just imagine it; Asriel would finally have a little playmate! I can see it now!”

' _THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING!!!!'_ Gaster mentally screamed; horrified as the day he was when he vomited on Grillbys shoes all those years ago.


	4. Chapter 4

Asgore hadn't really stuck around to listen to Gasters protests as the king left Gaster with his thoughts and unfortunately for the lich, the encounter with the king had left him exhausted. Depositing the book and his glasses to the table beside the bed; the exhausted doctor allowed himself to sink back into the bed; closing his eyes as he allowed the exhaustion and the darkness of sleep took over for the first time since he had been admitted to the hospital.

That peace is what he slept through, going in and out of consciousness as he body fought off the infection in his hand, feeling it throbbing in pain for the first time since the incident.

“Firefly, this is completely unnecessary and it's highly embarrassing.” a week after Asgore had stopped by, the doctors had finally deemed him healthy enough to go home but he was to be resting for a long while afterwards. “No Work!” They had demanded; wanting his hand to finish healing without the wound opening back up. And, of course, once Grillby heard of Gasters release, he rushed over with his arms full to the brim with clothes and blankets that he had bundled the lich within layers upon layers until moving became a chore. Forced into a wheelchair, the doctor was tempted to slap Grillbys hands off his person as the fire elemental adjusted the blanket around him. Pulling the portion of the blanket over the liches head, the bartender gave an charming snort.

“You should have thought of that before you decided to have a baby.” Rounding the stubborn doctor, his hands took the chairs handles firmly to wheel him out through the polished white hallways. “What did you want to name them anyway?”

Gaster gave a snort. That was assuming that the specimen would survive the initial critical three month mark. Almost as if he could read Gasters thoughts, the elemental gave a sigh; voice covering the sounds of the squeaky rubber on the newly cleaned flooring. “Humor me, Gaster. It's not like it will kill you to give the little one a name, no matter the risk or how temporary it may be.”

Suppose that was fair. And Grillby was right. It wouldn't hurt to have something to call the thing while he was in the company of others; not liking the idea of being screamed at over another thing such as a little slip of the tongue if he were to accidentally call it 'specimen' in front of anyone like he nearly did King Asgore- whom he was fairly sure, caught the slip but just hadn't said anything.

But what to name them was the real question. Tapping his index finger in his lap, his mind swam through the list of all the names he knew; both male and female- taking time to consider each one as he was led to the front of the hospital and past all the rooms of sick monsters or newly parents. None of the names he thought of would do- feeling much to dull or overused; especially in this time where overpopulation was occurring in parts of the underground thanks to a baby boom in the current recent years. No, the specimen was his and his alone and if it was to have a name, it was going to have a unique one of his own choosing should it live past the tender time frame.

“I was thinking Sans.” Truly, he hadn't known what possessed him to pick that, out of all the names his mind could have come up with but it was simple and easy for even the dimmest nitwit to remember. The last thing he wanted was to go into labor and later find out that the nurses had stupidly misspelled the name so that it formed another entirely. There was no way he was willing to deal with the problem of going through the ropes of correcting any blunders they could possibly do. The name was perfect.

Grillby, on the other hand, had the opposite reaction and halted the wheelchair right there to sputter and stare down at the doctor within it; flames crackling as if the elemental could hardly believe what the lich had said.

“You can't just name your baby ' _Without_ '!” Clearly outraged if the tone in his voice was anything to go by; Gaster just chuckled and pulled the blanket tighter around himself as the chill of the hospital was getting to him, despite the building being located in Hotland. Part of him regretted installing it in the building all those years ago but the building needed it and Asgore asked it of him so he complied to make an air conditioner strong enough and would withstand the heat nearly without fail.

“Why not?” He found his own voice bubbling in amusement and mischief as he sunk a tad in the chair in a weak attempt to curl for warmth that the mountain of layers of clothing and the blanket were just starting to give him. “The child is without a second parent. I think it fits rather well.”

Grillby sputtered once more before retaliating his argument. “Not to everyone else! Others will think that you named the child “without” because you could live without them!”

Now this had the doctors figurative blood boiling. It always came back to that, didn't it? Society. It always came back to what people wanted. What people thought. Heaven help anyone if Gaster did anything he wanted or else the people will find everything wrong with it and nag him about it to comply to their reasoning least they shun him if he didn't do it. That was always the problem; but he couldn't blame Grillby- no, he never could. His heart was a kind monster, despite the role the elemental was forced to play in the war. Grillby had been fairly young when he took over the role of general and hadn't seen much war. But he had been the last defence for his encampment and he was the only one brave enough to hold the humans off as his comrades fled.

That was the day Gaster first saw him. A lone fire monster, barely eighteen and wielding a sword made from the flames of his own body and steel. The day the lich defected and the two fought side by side- necromancer bonds be damned. He hadn't cared about the pain they gave him as he protected Grillbys back. He didn't care about the agony as he broke them of his own free will; opening his mind to where he could finally think. The elemental had been so graceful- so beautiful. Was it any wonder that the lich found him so smitten? Now, much older, the bar keeper still held his heart in his hands. It was a shame he hadn't known that.

What were they talking about again? Oh, right. The peoples opinion of his- of the specimens name.

“Firefly, I am not concerned with the dos and don'ts of others. I don't know them, I don't respect their opinion and I don't have to acknowledge their opinions.” Glancing forward again, he could feel the anger building up in his stomach; not at Grillby. No-never at the elemental. He was just angry in general. The doctor never really liked being told what to do and the situation and arrangements Asgore was forcing on him only enforced that feeling- although honestly, he couldn't say that he blamed him.

Had it been any other monster besides Asgore, he would have had them running away with a blaster on their tail. Grillby, could get away with it as well and both he and Asgore knew it; hence why they insisted and why Gaster let them with an angry grumble. Not caring if he was pouting or if he was seen in mid pout; the lich held the blanket tightly against himself, feeling his hand throb once more- barely hearing the sigh Grillby gave before wheeling them to the front desk only a few feet away to where the secretary sat, working on her computer before taking notice of the two.

He would let the two talk. For now, he would focus on his thoughts and the situation he found himself in. Getting himself pregnant hadn't been the most calculated thing ever. Sure, it was all for a bit of fun that-until now, he found hilarious and had it gone down another way, he would have surely had more time to enjoy it. Stars, maybe he still had time to enjoy it, just not with those he thought he'd get the best reactions from. The pregnancy seemed to have either upset them or hurt them, as if he was scum who had the audacity to reproduce.

But then again, while it ended up being a joke in hindsight; subconsciously, he had been feeling odd before he had actually done this to himself. Starting with a nagging feeling in the back of his head and the strange way his body was attempting to move as if he was waddling already; it had grown into dreams of himself with a rounded middle as he lay on a silken blanket in a sandy area, waited on by hand and foot by faceless monsters. It wasn't until he found himself wanting to press his body to others with a longing and giddiness thanks to endorphins and dopamine from the thought of the actions alone did he start to grow concerned and threw himself into research.

Sad as it was, Gaster found that there was little to nothing on liches to be found in regular texts outside mythology that tended to portray liches as unholy undead abominations that were slaves of necromancy. The only knowledge that could possibly be gained was from the book back in his old masters hands on the surface and that was impossible on multiple levels to gain access to. The longing, the urges, the change in walking- it was effecting his mental state and was driving him insane. There was nothing to explain this! It hadn't been heat as liches; he found out over the years, did not go through such a thing, nor was it rut for the same reasons.

It was a submission- a longing for pampering; to reproduce, to feel heavy with child and to be spoiled as he gave birth. For the longest time, he had blamed his master for this, thinking that the human was at fault for this- for what he was dealing with and it had been many days that he found himself awake at night; pacing the lab and unable to focus.

No tests to be done, no physical changes to his body, no research that could be made or collected. NOTHING to explain this. Even his own coworkers hadn't noticed a change in his physical being- not even his scent. They just noticed his newfound behavior and slowly began to voice their concerns when they found the doctor cradling a canister of Oxygen to his chest like a newborn while he was working; not having realized he had been doing such a thing until it was mentioned.

The doctor still hadn't a clue as to where or how he had managed to get a hold of such a thing seeing as another department of the lab worked and held the oxygen for experiments and medicine. Although cradling the canister had been rather soothing and staved off the urges for the most part; only to resurface the moment he had to leave the damned thing; like had been abandoning a cub and broke into tears once he was in the privacy and confines of his own lab.

Of course, he held a record of all this in his booklet at home for research to look into when he got home. The whole thing had come so suddenly and lasted for so long, that he doubted that any other monster in the underground dealt with such a thing- based on his observations that is.

Perhaps liches went into seasons instead of heats? It didn't seem likely considering his libido barely changed at all if it did. It was nurturing but damned if it hadn't been annoying to deal with.

So annoying and frustrating that he found himself with a hole in the hand three weeks later and in the hospital two days later with the specimen in his middle; growing.

The damned urge and feelings didn't go away though. In response to the thing growing inside him, it only got worse in some areas while dull in others. His body was pleased, giddy- like it couldn't wait until he was waddling as he walked. Gaster could just _SCREAM_ \- there was no way out of this strange incident he was going through.

“You look lost in through, Doctor. Are you feeling well?” Grillby's voice snapped him back to the present and as he glanced up, he was met with the concerned face of the elemental, kneeling in front of his chair while the secretary too, watched him cautiously. His mind must have wondered a bit too long if they were staring at him like he would explode any moment.

“Apologies, did you ask me something?” As if nothing was off with him, the lich was able to speak evenly, despite how tired he really was. The anger had long since drained from him from the talk he had with Asgore thanks to the train of thought he had wondered into.

The elementals brows furrowed and stared down at the lich for what felt like hours instead of the seconds that had actually passed. “I had asked you if there was anything you needed to pick up from the lab before I take you home?”

Ah. Gaster shook his head, relieved that, while he was tired; the dizziness hadn't returned from the action. “Thank you, Firefly but no. Unless you want to return me to the lab so that I may go back to work then I have no further reason for being there.”

He winced at the flick Grillby gave him between the brows; scowl on his fiery face. Stars, that had been the hottest thing that the doctor had seen in his entire life.

“No working. You're on bed rest, remember?” Reprimanded the barkeep as he stood back up to take his place behind the chair to push it out of the hospital with papers in hand. Blinking, the doctor had to clench his eyes shut as the light from Hotlands lava blinded them and instantly he was hit with the heat- pulling on the collar of the layers he was forced in to pant as sweat beaded his body.

“Stars, Firefly, why don't you kill me now? This is a rather slow execution if you were to ask me.”

And, like that, his host bristled at the comment; hands clutching the chair handles tightly. “ Calm down, Gaster; we're almost to the elevator that you lot installed. It would be faster than walking and we'll be in Snowdin in no time.”

Of course Grillby would tell him to calm down- he was made of fire. This probably didn't even bother him in the slightest.

Also, the elevator? Gaster wouldn't counted on it. The doctor had only managed to ride it once or twice since it was installed anywhere in the underground. All of them seemed to have some sort of vendetta against the lich and his weak knees and wanted him to suffer at the hands of the stairs, who took pity on him by not allowing him to slip more than three steps.

When he told this conspiracy to anyone else, they had laughed at him before they stepped into the elevator; not having an ounce of problems; unlike himself, of course. The whole thought of seeing Grillby struggle with the elevator while the lich could just sit back and watch was very amusing; and now witnessing it as what he had predicted, come to light- the doctor had to keep from howling when the elemental made his complaints known.

“I have never had them do this to me before!! Why is it that suddenly it stops working right when we get close?!”

“Elevators and I don't really get along, Firefly. We've had them looked at and worked on but they never want to actually be used when I draw near. Why do you think I am always really late getting home?”  
  
“Because you work too much, Gaster; THAT is why.”

The lich found his cheeks puffing in indignity at the comment sent his way. Grillby was right but that still stung a bit. “Because I had to take the stairs every day; that's the answer, yo uncultured swine.”  
  
“It's not uncultured if it's not about a culture, you stubborn bigoted oaf.” Grillby threw back to his bed ridden friend; going back to pushing the wheelchair. They would have to walk, much to the lich's dismay, who growled under his breath.

“That hurts, Firefly. That really hurts.”

“Can you really say that I'm wrong?”

“No, you're correct. It just hurts to hear it being said out loud.”

The banter was worth hearing the breathy laugh from the bartender as they stopped on the edge between Hotland and Waterfall so the elemental could get his specialized parka on. The sound made his soul flutter and he found a hand going to his chest to calm its fluttering; listening to the calm and soothing sounds of flowing and dripping water.

And then Grillby had to go and ruin the peace.

“When we get you home, I'm going to clean up your place. I have only stepped in there once and it's an absolute pigsty.”

Grumbling under his breath, Gaster gave a roll of his eyes. “You're going to do what you want to do, I have long since accepted this. Just don't touch my kotatsu. I still have to fix the heater inside it.”

This had Grillby freezing where he stood, going so still that Gaster actually had to twist his body to glance behind him and spy that shocked and gobsmacked look on the elementals face. “What?”

“You actually have a kotatsu? I thought your obsession with Japanese culture was a bit extreme but I never pegged you for a weeb.”

Gaster could only gape; feeling as if he was slapped in the face before he shook his head to sputter out his defense. “I'll have you know that I like the Japanese style and a portion of the culture! It's fascinating and so much to learn like any other culture. I don't claim to know the language or the behavior customs!!”

Soft breathy chuckle, Grillby took the handles once more and off they continued with the elemental's plastic protection covering his body from the harmful water.

“I was joking, Gaster. I know you're not a weeb- even if you constantly complain to have never had anyone to speak to from the culture to learn from them. I was just shocked because of the fact that I hadn't seen a kotatsu since I was born.”

“Since you were born?”

Giving a hum and a dip of his head, the barkeep side stepped a puddle. “Technically, I was born in Japan but I cannot claim to actually be part of it considering that I never learned the language or was a citizen. Monsters weren't 'people' there at the time and my birth had been an accident. So I was shipped over seas to where we are now all before I could say my alphabet as a present of peace between the two countries.”

“I-I apologize, I hadn't known.”

Grillby; one brow raised, could only glance to the doctor who's head dipped. “What for? It's not like I can miss what I never really remember or knew much of. And I'm not mad that you want to learn new things. You've always been that way. Staring out with humans, to souls and now culture. I notice you flip flop a lot. Everything you touch, you need to pick apart and study.”

Flushing brightly, Gasters found his hands back to his face. “Please don't remind me of the toilet incident. I was new to it all and didn't know what it was. Until I met you, all I was allowed to do and know about was going in the bushes.”

“You dismantled the entire camps toilet just for curiosity sake.” The laugh in his hosts voice did little to ease his embarrassment. Yes, he remembered that day all too well. While humans didn't have working pluming at the time, monsters did, in a weird way that the lich later down the road, found that humans had a way of recreating it without the use of magic like monsters had.

Naked and curious, the younger lich had grafted crude tools out of scraps of steel and iron and had managed to take apart the entire encampments toilet just to figure out how it worked physically. When he couldn't figure out, at the time, where the waste was going; he had tried to put it back together- just to discover that he hadn't known how to and the camps repairman had to reconstruct it with a line forming behind him of monsters needing to use it once it was fixed with a laughing king and queen to the side and a flustered Grillby who was apologizing for the naïve lich that he had found.

Hand sliding off his face, he could feel the air grow chiller and crisp as they drew closer and closer to the border between waterfall and Snowdin; barely hearing the smoky, crackly laugh of his crush behind him.

“It was funny, Gaster; even you have to admit that.”

“I was stupid, Firefly, just say it.” Snorted the lich, pulling the blanket to cover his eyes to hide away from the shame of it all.

Crackling, the elemental began to wheeze as he laughed. “I will not. You were technically just born about a month ago that day when it happened. While you were physically an adult, you had the mind of an innocent and in a way, it was refreshing for everyone to see a wide eyed wonder in someone during those times.”

“Well it wasn't fun for me.” Gaster gave a wince before sighing and relenting to the shame. “And don't say that. I was not born, I was risen. Liches were once human you know. I was a fully grown adult man when I died. I was just.... brought back without memories. I had amnesia.”

Hearing the snow crunch under their weight; Gaster heard the laughing and wheezing ease up as that dreaded fog started up and instantly, the lich knew where they were instantly. This is where he fell into the lake. They even named it after him, much to his horror and dismay.

Grillby gave a snort. “Sure, of course, Daniel. I won't tell big bad Alexander about the toilet incident while I'm checking up on you.”

“I can tell you where you can shove that video game reference, Firefly.” But there was no real heat to his words and the elemental knew it too. Stars, he loved this monster so much and it hurt.

To say that the humor and light tone that the two had shared on their trip back to Snowdin all but died in a fire was a bit of a light way to put it. The mood shift was so sudden and so quick that it was like being back in the war all over again and the two felt it too. Morbid and sober as they entered the house; Gaster needing to be carried as the porch and house lacked any stairs.

“Not upstairs. The couch, Firefly, please.” The doctor had begged when he took notice of the elemental carrying him toward the stairs. Pausing, Grillby stared down at the lich in his arms with brows furrowed before complying; kicking off the trash and empty take out boxes off it before gently placing the weakened doctor on it.

“This place is a mess Gaster.” The elemental commented before making his way into the kitchen, later filling the silence with the sound of rustling plastic as the barkeep found the trash bags to collect the garbage littering the house. “No place to raise a baby. How you got another monster in here to make the little one was a wonder in itself; assuming you both.... you know... In here.”

For once, he wasn't able to take pleasure in Grillbys assumption- he didn't want to. The thought of the specimen in him being considered a baby made his stomach churn uncomfortably; which was a weird incident within itself. He hadn't had any problems before when others mistook it for a baby instead of what it really was; a lab experiment. But the way Grillby said it-

-it gave him the feeling of raw jealousy and possessiveness. Was it because the elemental thought that Gaster had willingly slept with another monster to make the specimen that made the doctor upset? Was it that the specimen was being so willingly accepted by the other and not questioned about the reason he was upset? Granted, he didn't really want to explain to his long time crush what the creature was or how it was made; that would only open another can of worms that he hadn't wanted to deal with.

Whatever the reason, the sudden shift in emotions had him reeling a bit. The sudden unconcerned testing on his own body was now filling him with disgust. This was no longer fun and no longer did he find amusement from it. It felt violating; insulting, unwanted. But he had to keep it, not for any moral reason, of course. But he made a commitment. This was a project and Gaster never gave up on a project until he was greeted with the negative results, and even then he tended to challenge it.

That, and he secretly hoped that the thing would keep his strange new behaviors quelled or at least dull them as he got bigger if it survived. Part of him hoped it wouldn't but a bigger part begged that it would live despite the sudden disgust and discomfort. It was too late for regrets now.

Because if he lost it, that means he would have mutilated and nearly died for nothing.

Granted, to be left with a hole in his hand and a mash of pills that the hospital gave them were not the positive results he had planned for when he started this whole thing; but an after effect. Listening to Grillby shuffling around and watching him work; his eyes kept running down the elementals sculpted body in wonder. Was the disgust because the thing he carried was not a result of him and his crush merging mana?

Stars, he didn't even think he could have a child the natural way. Sex was a nasty business; exciting, yes but it made a mess once the high was over. And his body was dead at one point. He doubted he had the ability to make a new life without the help of science and medicine; no one really did. As he had proven- there was a shocking lack of anything scientific about liches; only mythology and superstitions.

“Stars, I thought you had been joking.” Looks like Grillby found the kotatsu hidden away in the corner of the kitchen. There was shuffling around and the sound of cloth flopping over. “Where's the motor? Also, HOW did you even get this thing.”

“The dump.” Snorted Gaster in amusement as if that had explained anything; which might be the case considering all the things that wash up in the underground. “The motor's in my room. I had been working on fixing it so I could finally toss out this couch.”

“You might want to consider keeping the couch, no matter how uncomfortable it is.” Commented the other monster, returning to the living room with the bag of trash before he began his scavenging there. “When you get bigger, you might find the couch more useful than an kotatsu for your back.”

“Oh really?” brow up, the lich found the corners of his mouth quirking. “And you would know this how?”

“Bonnie.” the elemental flawlessly threw back without a second thought. “Do you know how many buns that rabbit has had? All her cravings for each pregnancy had her coming to the bar for chili cheese fries.” In the trash bag goes a can of soda. “Eventually I had to order a special chair just for her that I now keep in the back if any other mothers come in for cravings.” giving a pause, Grillby looked the doctor over. “And now that you are carrying and apparently unable to care for yourself, you're going to be using it as you sit in my bar when you grow bigger.”

Teeth bared, Gaster took the blanket off himself and began to peel the layers of clothes off his person, starting to feel hot under them all. “That's a bit over the top, Firefly.” He muttered; tossing the sweater to the side; only to yelp when Grillby was suddenly in front of him with his arms encasing the lich in the couch.

“No,” Grillby began; voice firm, final, and low in tone- staring deep into the doctors eye lights that were staring back nervously. “What's over the top is you cutting a hole in your hand for who knows what reason and then going home without seeking treatment- forcing me to invade your privacy after two days of searching for you in the hopes of finding you and not a pile of dust while everyone in the lab, including the king and queen and I, panicked about your sudden disappearance. What's over the top was how worried I was when I actually found you on the brink of death. Your soul stopped beating TWICE as you were being treated and you almost miscarried. What we're doing it not over the top. We're doing what needs to be done considering you cannot do what you need to do in your current state.”

And just like that, Grillby stepped away from the stunned and shocked doctor to clean, leaving behind his scent of smoke and fast food behind. Not once had the elemental raised his voice or even threatened him- hadn't even technically insulted the doctor. But his inner general was showing and reemerging after all these years to verbally smack some since into the lich.

He hadn't been flat out told that what he had done was stupid- just that it was foolish. He hadn't had it all smacked in his face like that; telling him that his actions had been stupid and risky but the implications were there, and they hurt. He felt as if his soul was breaking from it all- which was odd because he was normally a strong monster. He could put on a brave face and handle the words thrown at him like any other monster who had fought in the war.

Or he used to and the tears pricked at his eyes while rage fueled him for getting so upset so easily over words that any grown monster could handle hearing. Although his soul stopping it's rhythmic beating and nearly miscarrying the specimen was news he hadn't known about before brought cold sweat down his body as he sniffled; raising a hand to brush away the unwanted tears.

 _'Get a grip on yourself.'_ He snarked to himself mentally. _'You're a grown monster. You've heard and dealt with worse without batting an eye or care. Why is this what has you breaking down? Suck it up.'_

But he couldn't. Everything came crashing down on him from the events and holding back the hot purple tears was damn impossible. He couldn't see Grillby stop to glance back over to him with a regretful expression on his face. He didn't hear the elemental put down the bag to come sit on the couch. But he did feel himself being pulled into the others arms and pressed to the barkeeps chest despite the tears that must be stinging him terribly; holding the sobbing lich and rocking him as the doctor wept loudly; body struggling to take in air before he broke down again.

“I'm sorry, Gaster, don't cry. I had forgotten that this all must be hard on you... Please don't cry.” Grillbys words were muffled under Gasters loud gross sobbing. Unable to stop, the doctor just continued on his weeping. At some point, he couldn't remember why he was crying; just that he was really sad and this was the only current outlet that he had. The warm hand rubbing his back had been comforting and was a major help in calming him down along with the rocking and he was soon left sniffling and faint hiccups with his hands clutching the damp shirt.

If the tears hurt Grillby, the elemental didn't show it. His face was worriedly facing the lich in his arms as he rocked Gaster until the sounds silenced and the doctor was resting against him with red eyes from his wailing.

Had Gaster been in a better frame of mind, he would have been having the time of his life. Sadly, when he imagined being engulfed in Grillbys arms, he hadn't imagined that it would be from sobbing like a frightened souling after an earthquake. In his mind, he always had imagined a more romantic scenario where he'd be swept into the elementals arms and carried to the bedroom. Only for Gaster to remember how stupid that seemed and would wank off in bed.

That wasn't to say that this wasn't nice-it was very nice indeed and was more comforting than the doctor had imagined it to be. While the way he got there had a lot to be desired, he really did enjoy the strong arms around him and the warmth it brought him.

He never wanted to leave them.

“Are you feeling better now?” Sadly, he had to leave the warm embrace. At Grillbys question, he allowed the elemental to pull away; seated a comfortable distance away with a hand going to the back of his neck. “I'm sorry, Gaster... You're not stupid and know fully well of your mistakes..... I shouldn't have gotten mad at you-”

“You were right.”

That confession tasted like bitter ash in his mouth and he wasn't sure he liked the way Grillby did a double take before gaping at him; jack-o-lantern mouth open just a tad in shock at him. Taking a breath, Gaster chose that moment to suck in his pride.

“I was being rather idiotic..... I've spent so long looking after myself, I had assumed that all would be fine if I just went home and slept. I am not a medical doctor, despite the research I do. Souls are not the same as a body and I failed to look after myself.... You shouldn't have to babysit me but here we are.” Shaking, the lich could only bare his teeth, grimacing at his lap.

“I, and the royal damned scientist and I have done the most stupidest thing I could have ever thought of; all because I'm too prideful. No wonder you pity me.”

The only sound to that was the alarmed crackling pf Grillbys flames before he reached out to place a warm hand on Gasters shoulder.

“That's where you have it wrong, Dings.... It's not pity. You're my friend and I care very much about you. We have to stick together and watch out for each other.” Hand sliding off the lich's bony shoulder, Grillby tipped Gasters face up by the chin with the side of his finger. “And now there's a baby involved.... Babies are precious to us monsters, as you well know.... I will do everything in my power to keep you both safe, even after you give birth to little Sans.”

The sides of Gasters mouth quirked upward as he glanced away with a weak snicker; hand going up to clutch Grillbys outstretched one.

“You said its name.”

“So I did, Dings... So I did.” Crackled the flame with a soft breathy laugh; allowing his hand to fall to his side.

“I thought you hated it; said that people would assume that I didn't wish to have it.”

“What can I say? The name's growing on me.”


	5. Chapter 5

He loved Grillby. He absolutely adored the elemental will all of his being. But the good doctor absolutely abhorred the establishment that Grillby owned. Not because it was filthy; oh no. His dear firefly kept it clean, bright, and warm. But it was the people that frequented the place and that blasted jukebox with it's loud music that skipped in places here and there. Those that resided there were mostly the royal guard; loud and smelly as they were. The soldiers were loud and worst of all-DOGS.

If there was a type of monster that had the lich uncomfortable to be near aside from spider, it was dogs. He hadn't the faintest idea on why that was but dogs terrified him. Sure, they were nice in their own special way but that did little to ease the tension in his body-not that the current monster, Artic Wolf, was any better.

The wolf and his son sat not too far away, giving the doctor saddened looks; having learned long ago to not get near the doctor least the lich lock himself in his home for days on end while nervously peeking outside the window curtain to make sure the canines were gone.

There had been no reason for this phobia of the canine unit. Gaster had suspected that it had something to do with the nightmares he would have if he had too much coffee that day of being on the surface, being mauled to death by an oversized savage wolf, his robes torn and shredded by bloodied teeth as his insides spill along the ground as he was left to die.

Come to think of it, Arctic Wolf was the one he was most terrified of. The scraggly monster had that eerily familiar feel about him that haunted him from the moment Gaster laid eyes on him. Grunting, Gaster brought the mug of tea to his mouth that Grillby had brought him; Green tea. It eased his nerves of the fear he fought so hard to hide.

The doctor wished he could go back home instead of being babysat nearly 24/7. His firefly had drug him to the bar to keep an eye on the sick doctor as the elemental worked behind the bar. Occasionally the flame would come to check on him; going so far to actually **CHECK** him if he had a suspicion if something was wrong with the lich before returning to his work.

It was that same worry that prompted the elemental to bring Gaster that blasted green tea. Eyes locked onto the mug as he slowly lowered it to the bar; the lich did his best to drown out the stories the dogs shared about their times in the war as he cupped the glass with his shaking hands.

The war had been so long ago but not long enough for them all to forget. Every monster in the bar, or practically every one, fought in the war at one point or another; and a bar was the perfect place to catch up with colleagues and comrades to reminisce about old times. Talking about monsters that had reached the end of their life span and passed or sharing memories of incidents that they endured.

If there was something Gaster wanted to forget, it was that bloody war. And bloody was the perfect word for it. He can still feel the cold steel locked onto his body that he was encased in for protection as he blindly aided the humans before his defecting. The awkward weight of a cold sword in untrained hands that he soon abandoned when he found he'd rather use his newfound magic to fight instead of swinging metal; much to his surprise to his old master.

...Or rather, Mistress. With the tea in his system, he could vaguely make out the more feminine features of the human woman in rags that summoned him from the grave. The stitches on his body had been painful as he rose; them having just been applied before the ceremony.

He didn't want to remember waking up on that cold slab of stone in the middle of an ambush. He didn't want to remember the shocked and fearful looks on those monsters faces as he attacked as ordered. He didn't want to remember the LV he gained by taking innocent lives from their families after being risen for only five minutes.

Gaster clutched the mug tightly within his hands. He didn't want to remember. The guilt of those times often had him dropping in HP and it hurt him too much to think about such moments. On top of those memories, he was surrounded by a breed that he feared for some unknown reason.

_'Giant maddened eyes locked onto him-blood pouring off the beasts snout as its torn and broken armor had clattered to the ground, leaving it in rags. Upon all fours; it made its way to him; grunting, snarling, growling as it pounced on his form. The bow he carried had scattered along the ground as his hands rose; grabbing the wolf's oversized jowls-it's teeth digging into his hands as it snarled and shook the digits off it._

_It rose it's massive scruffy head back up before shooting back down; crushing his stomach and tearing into him faster than his mind could process. He could hear screaming, could feel the pain; his body acting on instinct to try and free itself. Was he screaming? His throat was aching and it was getting hard to breathe._

_Suddenly he had an eye in his hand; one not his own. A soldier stood over him, armor glistening as he fought off the monster with his massive claymore; Dark red hair coated in blood, sweat in grime with every move he made while the night sky behind him was lit with flames as the fields became lit with a blaze that had gone out of control._

_They had been ambushed in camp. How did he know this?_

_A gurgle could only escape his mouth; reaching for the soldier who turned to face him. No, not soldier; Knight.... his.... son?..... The face was familiar. This was his dream selfs son. His mind told him so. His knightly son who fell to his knees beside Gaster, cupping his hands before screaming into the air at the sight of his fathers state.'_

That was the same dream Gaster was haunted by. It didn't happen often but it always lingered just long enough for the doctor to log it a couple days later when he used to go to his therapist- not his by choice. Had the lich had any say, he wouldn't have gone in the first place but the Queen insisted that every monster see one for a couple years at least. Once his few years were up, he walked out and never looked back.

“Hey....”

The gruff voice had him jumping back to reality. No longer did he feel he was on the battlefield and dying. Now he was back in Grillbys bar; right where he should be. It was just a dream yet he had almost gotten trapped into it just now; almost mistook it for reality for a moment had it not been for that voice.

Taking a few small, slow breaths, he gave himself time to collect himself before tilting his head to the side to take a cautious peek; seeing nothing but that fearful ashy gray fur of the monster who sat beside him.

Arctic Wolf had come to greet him, it would seem. It took all Gaster had not to scream or flee in an all out panic. This was a monster, for Stars sake! It's foolish to be afraid of a his own species-no matter what race of his species it was.

But the Lich was terrified, and as much as he wished it, he could not hide it from his eyes; feeling the lights in his sockets to dim. But he had to speak. The other one was waiting for the doctor to acknowledge his presence. He should say something. Clear his throat. SOMETHING.

“I noticed that you were lost in thought...” Oh good, Arctic was doing the talking. Maybe the oversized wolf had seen something in Gasters posture and decided to continue. Managing a shaky grunt, the doctor dared a glance to Arctic's hands where a glass of whiskey with ice remained.

Those hands scared him almost as bad as his teeth did.

The wolf was silent for a moment, swirling the whiskey slowly, staring down at it and giving Gaster a chance to glance nervously along the other monsters face. Arctic looked tired; worn out-as did most of the other war torn monsters in the bar. But somehow, the large wolf looked older than what he actually was; just from that distant look of his.

“I just came to see how you were... You were in the war too, weren't you? The kings mage....” Gasters only answer was a firm nod before bringing the mug back to his mouth before a whimper escaped him. Not too far away, he could see, from the corner of his eye, Grillby staring at the doctor; observing his state then glancing to Arctic. But he couldn't do anything at the moment as he took orders of the drunken rabbit that was slumped over the table they sat at.

“It gets better....” Arctic continued; but his words sounded hallow, as if he wasn't sure if he was telling himself that or Gaster. “You have the look I do most nights. You have them dreams too?”  
  


“Yes.....” Finally finding his voice, the doctor was able to croak out an answer; trying not to flinch as the large wolf took a gulp of whiskey before setting it down with a soft clatter on the bar- the noise drowned by the chattering and music of the bar.

“Yeah......” Arctic had his head lowered. “I can still hear his screaming. Still see his face.... War is hell. Nothing but a useless game for the higher ups to kill off their people......”

This was going into a topic he didn't want to partake in. Risking another glance, the look on the other monsters face told the lich that Arctic wasn't really speaking to him anymore; rather, he was just speaking out loud.

They all had faces of those they fought with and against, stuck in their heads to this day. Gaster was one of the lucky ones. He hadn't been in battle as much as these other monsters had been. He had been summoned near the end of the whole ordeal and the most he had to do was put on a fancy light show as a distraction and learn how to function as a monster.

Part of him wondered who Arctic had haunting his dreams every night.

Another part of him was too scared to find out.

* * *

Arctic hadn't said much after that. They had just sat there, sipping their drinks of choice for a few moments in a semi comfortable silence before Arctic remembered that he had brought his son to the bar and wondered off back to him. Ice wolf was just a tiny pup who was content to color on his paper with the crayons he brought from home as he munched his fries.

Ice Wolf would grow to be the size of his father. Gaster just had a feeling about that and already the doctor wanted to keep his distance from the harmless puppy. He wouldn't be little forever. All the more to keep away from him before he could be big enough to tear him to pieces.

Yes, it was silly to be scared of something that would never happen; but a phobia was a phobia.... He watched the father and son leave; the son reaching up to pat his fathers eye patch as he was picked up and carried off to head home.

Yes, there was something indeed familiar about Arctic Wolf and Gaster didn't like it in the slightest.

“Gaster..... You're shaking.” Grillby's voice was comforting as the elemental stepped in front of him and places his hand on Gasters bandaged one. “Are you ill? Feel like you can eat something?”

“N-no, firefly......” Clearing his throat, the doctor felt his cheeks heat up at the contact with their hands. “I just....... I just want to go home.” Lowering his head with a defeated sigh, his hands let go of the mug that he hadn't realized he was clutching so hard. “It's loud and crowded in here....”

Grillby's thumb stoking his knuckles gently had him relaxing a little as a plate of food was set in front of the lich; although, Gaster wasn't sure how well he could stomach a burger, no matter how delicious Grillbys food was. Arctic had him a bit shaken.

“I know, Dings... Only a few more hours and I can take you home. Did you want be to give you a magazine to look at? I apologize that we never brought you a book from your home.”

“I wouldn't have minded my walkman....” Mouth quirking, Gaster allowed the stroking of his knuckle to ease his hand off his now empty mug that Grillby promptly took with a gentle hand before stepping away to clean it.

“Next time, we will bring your walkman... What music do you have for it?”

“What I find, mostly.” Lifting his burger bun, Gaster reached for the ketchup and mustard bottles, which Grillby scooted over for him so the doctor wouldn't strain himself trying to grab. With a thankful smile, he started applying the yellow condiment first. “The majority of the cassettes are country so I suppose the answer is country music. I think humans hate it but I love it.....”

Then the lich's face sours, setting the bottle down. “There's this new band that sings. I think they're called 'The new kids on the block'.... I don't like their music. To...... Mmmh...... bangy??” He's not so sure that was the right word for it. “It hurts my head and sounds like someone banging garbage bins...”

“And Country doesn't?” Grillby questioned with the tilt of his head, placing a new mug of tea in front of the doctor. He hadn't sounded unkind-but genuinely curious.

With a huffy laugh; Gaster jerked his hand with a bit of ketchup got on his hand from squeezing the bottle just a little too hard. Bringing his hand to his mouth, he licked the condiment off. Oh stars, that tasted like HEAVEN!.....

….

...He needed more....

“Hardly. Country is depressing music and I like it, actually. It would seem the humans on the surface would disagree...” he pretended to ignore the large glob of ketchup he squeezed onto his burger-instead, choosing to focus on Grillby's amused expression. “Don't you dare judge me, firefly. You're just as bad with your jazz.”

“Smooth Jazz.” The elemental gently corrected. “And I didn't say anything was wrong with it, Dings. It's nice that you know what you like. Even if it's unpopular.”

“Have you even listened to any of it, firefly?”

“I can't say that I have....” The elementals face had morphed into disturbed as he watched Gaster bite into a burger that was more ketchup than meat. “Dings, maybe I should get you a different burger. That's a lot of-DINGS!!!”

Grillby's flames shot up and his hands outstretched when he got first row seat to Gaster bringing the spout of the ketchup bottle to his mouth and CHUGGING it. Honestly the flame was at a loss. He could fight in a war with ease. But seeing his best friend _drink_ ketchup like it was a beverage was disturbing...

But his pupils eyes lowered to the lich's middle where the unborn souling resided; too small to make itself known yet to the world. The elemental had to remind himself that his friend was expecting and that cravings were bound to happen, no matter the stage.

…....Doesn't mean it has to sit well with his own stomach in mind.

“How.... Does that taste?” Grillby asked with a strange hesitance. “Do.... I need to get you more?”

“Firefly, If you would get me more than I would never leave this place. I feel like I'm in heaven...” wiping his mouth with a napkin, the doctor did his best to ignore the looks he was getting from the patrons of the bar, having no doubt heard Grillby shout and were now grossed out at finding out what had the bartender so flustered.

Who drinks ketchup???

With a slow hesitant nod, Grillby flung his towel to rest on his shoulder before scratching the back of his head.

“Stars, dings...... You can't just have a normal craving, can you?” Stepping away from the bar, the elemental reached down to the shelves behind him to grab another bottle of the red nectar that the lich found himself enjoying. “Even my wife didn't have one as strange as you.”

That, had Gaster pausing and he felt like his soul would shatter. Time slowing; it suddenly felt cold and it was all he could do to grip the bar counter.

“I.... didn't know you were married, firefly....” Stars, he was too late?! How could he not have known this? Already, he could feel the pain building in his chest and behind his eyes. No.... no......

Unaware of Gasters internal plight; the elemental placed the bottle in front of Gaster. “A few years now. You met her before.”

Had he? Hand inching to the ketchup bottle, he suddenly felt sick to his stomach as his appetite faded. Thinking back on it, he had remembered Grillby with another fire elemental. A green one, if he remembered correctly. Asha; if he was right, their name was Asha..... At the time, he had assumed Grillby had made a friend to hang out with when Gaster had been busy with his projects.

In the end, it wasn't a friend that Grillby had made, but a mate that the elemental had taken and married. And now it turns out that they had a kid together?

He hated Asha with his entire being.....

“That's right.....” The words slipping softly from his mouth, he sat there with the bottle between his hands. He wasn't hungry anymore... And the pressure in his chest was building too fast and too much. “I remember.....”

“Dings?” Flames crackling worriedly, the elemental had apparently noticed the shift in the doctors mood and reached out to him, only for the doctor to slip off the stool. “Dings, where are you- what is-”

“Firefly, I need to use your facilities...” Mouth thinning, The lich spoke as politely as he could with the circumstances being what they were. The pressure, the queasiness. He needed to throw up and do it now.

Hand on his stomach seemed to have tipped Grillby off as the elemental nodded dumbly, watching the lich slip into the back and down the hall where he tumbled inside and locked the door before wondering to the toilet to bend over and vomit all that he had just eaten; not registering that he still had the ketchup bottle clutched in one hand.

Bottle mushed between the pasty pale hand and the floor from the doctors position, it squirted and coated the floor and the lich's hand in the sweet red ketchup that it contained. Not that this bothered or registered in the doctors mind. For as he finished being ill, he sat back and wept.

His heart was married and a father. Gaster couldn't get over that. Five years. It had been five years. How had he not known his love was married to another for five years?

That was rhetorical. The doctor knew the answer to that. Work.

He worked nonstop day in and day out.

This should not have shocked him, should not have effected him so bad, but it did.

He should have said something; should have torn Grillby away and confessed his soul then and there. He loved the elemental first, not that bitch! He had known his firefly longer, not her!

Asha should have been the one weeping in the bathroom while Gaster and Grillby made their family together. This was wrong!

But that's not how things were, now was it? Curled with the bottle on the floor; abandoned, he held his kneed to his chest and his his face within them.

He worked too much and it had cost him dearly. He missed his chance to claim the elemental and now all he wanted to do was curl up and die. Stupid fear of rejection, stupid workaholic nature.

Stupid, stupid project! He wish he had never done this! Had he not experimented on his own body and knocked himself up, not matter how his body wanted it; Gaster could have gone on with his life without knowing his friend was married to another, or at the very least, gone LONGER without knowing.

He hated it, he hated this THING!

He hated Sans!

This thing ruined his life.

Sniffing, Gaster lifted his head to wipe away the tears and touch his middle.

No, that was a lie. He didn't hate Sans.... Sans wasn't even a thing yet; just a bunch of magic and DNA; floating there without a mind, without it's own soul.

It wasn't really even a thing yet.... In a few months, it would defiantly be something. It hadn't asked to be made.... Gasters body was what wanted to spawn and in his desperation for some normalcy, he granted the wish; thinking he could have a bit of fun in the process at their reactions.

It's a shame that it never ended up that way.

It's a shame that nothing ever ended up his way.

“Dings?” Grillby's voice softly called to him from the other side of the door. The lich must have been gone a while if his firefly was coming to check on him. “Dings, are you crying?!”

Shit.....

With the flick of his hand, the door unlocked via his magic; allowing the elemental to poke his head inside. Seeing the lich crying on the floor was enough to have him stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

Ignoring the mess of the ketchup, the elemental was in front of Gaster in a moment and engulfing him into a hug; shushing him and rocking him with his hand rubbing the doctors back, much like he did back in the house earlier that day.

Not that Gaster had minded. Being held by the one his soul called for was wonderful and he more than welcomed it. Pressing his face in Grillby's shoulder; he got a strong scent of friend food and booze, hands holding onto the flames shirt.

“Dings, what's wrong...?”

What could Gaster say to that? Confessions were too late... All in all, he was tired and sore, both physically and emotionally. He wanted to sleep. With a shake to his head, Gaster gasped sharply for air after all that crying.

“I want to go home....”

Grillby said nothing for a moment but then there was a slump to his form. “Alright Dings... Let me close up and I'll take you home...”

Good... After this moment, Gaster felt like he could sleep forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I will keep working on my old works. Yes they will take a while, and yes, I have a bad habit of starting new stories faster than I can finish old one. But to be fair, this one is just to see if I can actually do what I want to do, and by that, I mean make the chapters longer. I dunno, does this one seem long? I thinks so but I could be wrong.


End file.
